The best way to deal with feelings and relationships, as far as I can see at the moment, is a constant honest conversation, both one to one between all the members of the group and within the whole group (on a condition that people are feeling safe to talk about their inner stuff). This should be done right from the beginning and on regular basis. Somehow this should be set as a group rule, carved in the founding stone. It’s not some new age woo woo, it is a necessity. There’s no way around it.
A couple of quotes from Laird’s Commentary on Community and Consensus blog post – dealing with difficult community issues. I really like that the author shows that there’s always at least two sides in the conflict. I so much prefer this to strict “goodie and badie” judgement a hint of which shows in somebody’s else comment.
“two people with very different communication styles can each feel bullied by the other. Because each may come across as insisting that the other person adopt their style as a pre-condition of being willing to communicate, it can lead to a stalemate with each blaming the other”
“Stretching, by definition, entails a certain amount of awkwardness, trying to figure out how far you’re willing to move outside your comfort zone to find an intersection with a person you find difficult. If you’re going to give up on them, you need to be able to sleep at night with having made that decision. Most people think of themselves as reasonable and compassionate. Have you lived up to your own standards with respect to adjusting how you come across in order to reach the other person?”